You can’t wait to get a self-driving car, so you can watch TV while your car drives you places.
You know you truly love a television show, when you care enough to watch it live and sit through commercials. (Or, you wait until it’s almost over, so you can fast-forward through the commercials.) You take your spoilers very, very seriously. Very seriously. If someone tells you what DOESN’T happen in a particular episode (“_____________ never shows up!”), you consider that a spoiler. All the songs on your phone are from various television episodes. When you hear them, you can picture the scene in your mind immediately. You enjoy being the person to introduce your friends to new shows. You try to talk everyone you know into watching some obscure cable drama about a topic you never thought you’d care about (“it’s about a chef in the 1840s who works for a traveling circus!”) You are the television version of a hipster music snob. You miss the olden days of 2008, when you were the only person you knew who watched Breaking Bad, and you could imagine that it was being made just for you. You make decisions by asking yourself what your favorite television characters would do in this situation. You try to convince yourself that it’s educational, by turning on the Spanish subtitles and practicing a few phrases. You can reference tons of shows you’ve never even seen, just from reading articles and hearing about them. When you finish watching a show, you feel a mix of closure and sadness, wondering, “what will I do with myself now?” Find another show, naturally! You miss the characters when the show is over. You know about various show crossovers, what that means for each “universe,” and most of all, the Tommy Westphall universe hypothesis. Even though you have way too many shows to watch already, you can’t wait until Elusive View launches with even more amazing content to watch!
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